GODSAIDMANSAID.COM - Marriage Counseling (Part 1 - All the Information You''ll Ever Need)

Marriage Counseling (Part 1 - All the Information You''ll Ever Need)
Topic#: 20121213 from WWW.GODSAIDMANSAID.COM

The end of this short span called life is eternity. There are two eternities and the human soul makes the choice. Jesus Christ speaks of eternal life in John 11:25-26:

25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:

26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews, comes to Jesus by night and Jesus reveals unto him the greatest mystery of all time: this mystery is the very portal to eternal life. John 3:3:

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

You must be born again. This is the miraculous place where one believes upon the Lord Jesus Christ, repents of his sins, is baptized, and from there forward, follows the King of Glory. The end of this journey is eternal life.

There is a second eternity, but it is not eternal life; it is eternal cognitive death. Luke records the words of Christ concerning a rich man, the beggar Lazarus, and Abraham. The rich man died and began his eternity in hell. He was not consumed by the fires of hell. Luke 16:23-24:

23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.

He was dead, which is not oblivion, but total separation from Jesus Christ, who is the way, the truth, and the life. The rich man is dead but fully aware of his surroundings, and his pain and suffering never ends. Jesus speaks of eternal punishment in Matthew 25:46:

And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Eternity will be your choice. Have you been born again? Consider Deuteronomy 30:15-19:

15 See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil;

16 In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

17 But if thine heart turn away, so that thou wilt not hear, but shalt be drawn away, and worship other gods, and serve them;

18 I denounce unto you this day, that ye shall surely perish, and that ye shall not prolong your days upon the land, whither thou passest over Jordan to go to possess it.

19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Are you ready to choose life—even eternal life? Are you ready to have all your sin and shame forgiven and washed away? Are you ready to receive the power to live a holy life? Click onto “Further With Jesus” right now. You will find childlike instructions and immediate entry into the Kingdom of God. Settle the issue. Now for today’s subject.

GOD SAID, Genesis 3:1-3:

1 Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

GOD SAID, Deuteronomy 4:1-2:

1 Now therefore hearken, O Israel, unto the statutes and unto the judgments, which I teach you, for to do them, that ye may live, and go in and possess the land which the LORD God of your fathers giveth you.

2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

GOD SAID, Revelation 22:18-19:

18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

MAN SAID: Marriage is a construct of the Bible, a book that was written by mere men, and it’s time an enlightened society sheds its shackles.

Now THE RECORD. Marriage should never be entered into without serious prayer, soul-searching, and accounting of the cost. With the marriage success rate—measuring success as a couple who does not divorce—hovering around 50%, one should enter into this union with eyes wide open. A 50% success rate should not be confused with half of the wedded population living in marital bliss. The marriage morbidity rate (referring to sick or dead marriages), a number which I have heard as high as 90%, is made up of more than divorce statistics. This number includes those who stay together for social or financial reasons, or for the children, or are already living apart, and many other reasons.

If and when divorce comes, it comes at a staggering cost. In the United States, the average cost of a contested divorce, according to YourLegalGuide.com, is $27,000, and that is just the beginning. Today’s marriages are a minefield, but be advised that God has a plan that ensures success and happiness.

When unmarried couples come to me for marriage counseling, or when married couples come with marital problems, the Biblical instruction is always the same. This is the first feature in the GodSaidManSaid marriage series. At first glance, this initial feature may not seem to fit, but not only is it foundational, it is utterly essential.

How did we get into the mess we’re in? Who is responsible and did I participate? In the beginning, God made Adam, and from Adam’s rib, made Eve, and they were given dominion over all the earth. They were immortal. God had made a garden—the Garden of Eden—for them to tend and to live in. The Hebrew meaning of the word Eden is delight. It was the garden of delight. Only one “don’t” was given to Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:17:

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

One day, Satan, inhabiting the serpent, engaged Eve in conversation. By the addition of one word and a question mark, he snatched the Adamic birthright and became the god (little g-od) of this world (I Corinthians 4:4).

Satan says to our grandmother in Genesis 3:1: “And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” Note that by removing the word hath and the question mark, the sentence would read: “Yea, God said, ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden.” By removing Satan’s added word and question mark, the challenge of unbelief becomes a statement of faith.

When God’s voice—the first voice, the voice of the Creator—was embraced, Adam and Eve were immortal and lived in the garden of delight. When the second voice—Satan’s voice, the voice of the destroyer—was heard and embraced, our grandfather and grandmother died spiritually that day they ate of the forbidden fruit, and they were booted out of Paradise. Later, of course, they also died physically. This event ushered in the law of sin and death. Speaking of the born-again, Ephesians 2:1 reads:

And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins:

Thus the need to be born again. Keep in mind, Jesus Christ is also known as the last Adam.

We can be extremely thankful for II Samuel 14:14:

For we must needs die, and are as water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.

God made a way of escape and His name is Jesus Christ.

God authored a book—one book. It is the book of life, and this book is the standard by which all men shall be measured. It is laden with inerrant instructions that only the Creator Himself could know. In the English-speaking world, this book is the majority-text, Authorized King James Version of the Holy Bible. In all of this life, and especially in marriage, our allegiance to this book must be absolute. Speaking of Jesus Christ, Revelation 19:13 reads: “and his name is called the Word of God.”

Consider the following verses with the ones quoted in the lead of this subject:

Deuteronomy 13:1-3:

1 If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder,

2 And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them;

3 Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

Psalms 19:7-13:

7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.

8 The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.

9 The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

10 More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.

11 Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward.

12 Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.

13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.

God made a way of escape, and that way is Jesus Christ, and His name is the Word of God.

All of God’s Word is true and each of His commandments have inherent within them a blessing or a curse. Because His Word is truth, obeying His Word yields the fruit of blessing, which is simply the result of doing the right thing. Disobeying yields the curse, which is simply the result of doing the wrong thing. Proverbs 26:2:

As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.

God’s Word is the authoritative instruction of all of life, including marriage, raising children, handling disputes, and gaining eternal life. Couples preparing for marriage and those who are already married must be fully and individually surrendered to the authority of the Word of God. God’s Word is the foundation of all things. His Word is a lamp unto our feet. His Word is the arbiter of good things.

There is the term endogamy, which means marrying within the same group or within the same tribe, but let us also add: marrying within the same book.

God gave us the written word that is found in the first five books of the Bible by the hand of Moses. During that time and to this very day, the faithful adhere to the principle of scriptures alone. Shortly after the earthly life of Christ, a Latin phrase, Sola Scriptura, was coined to depict the saints of God who understood scriptures alone. Sola Scriptura, or scriptures alone, will not only be the foundation of marriage, but will also be the glue that holds it together. It will be the cohesive understanding and direction and the arbitration of every difficult situation.