Marriage Counseling (Part 3 - All the Information You’’ll Need to Know)

All the topics are covered here.  Everything you need to know is found between the covers of the Authorized King James Version of the Holy Bible. 

In today’s philosophy courses, and after all these years, they are still asking the same tired, old questions:  Where did I come from?  Who am I?  What am I here for and where am I going?  The youngest of the sons and daughters of God easily answer such small questions.  Are you still in a quandary? 

People spend much of life mouthing common clichés like, “I need to find myself.”  Can you imagine that all the children of God had to find themselves before they found salvation?  When we found ourselves:

• We discovered that we were fallen creatures and dead unto God.  Ephesians 2:1:
  And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins:
• We discovered that we needed a savior to deliver us from our own iniquity.  John 3:16:
  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
• We discovered that we needed to be born a second time—this time as children of God.  John 3:3:
  Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

When one is born-again, all the questions begin to be answered at the speed of light. 

Are you ready for real answers to all of your questions?  Are you ready to have all of your guilt and shame expunged from your memory?  Are you ready to become a brand-new creature in Christ Jesus?  Get all of your questions answered.  Click onto “Further With Jesus” right now.  You will find childlike instructions and immediate entry into the Kingdom of God.  This will be the best day of your life.  Now for today’s subject.      

GOD SAID, Genesis 2:19-25:

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

GOD SAID, Ephesians 5:22-24:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

GOD SAID, Ephesians 5:25-33:

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

MAN SAID:  Marriage is a construct of the Bible, a book that was written by mere men, and it’s time an enlightened society sheds its shackles.

Now THE RECORD.  This is week three, the final week, in the GodSaidManSaid marriage counseling series, and this feature begins with a short test.  The following questions are drawn from the second feature.

1.       You cannot find the real truth of salvation by looking back through 2,000 years of __________.

2.       What is the only deed that a spouse could commit that would permit divorce?

3.       A believer is only permitted to marry a _____________?

4.       What does equal yoking mean?

5.       Give two examples of what equal yoking looks like.

Foundational information from feature one and feature two is necessary to continue.  In “Marriage Counseling (Part 1),” we discovered from the Word of God how we got into the mess we’re in.  We discovered that when the second voice in the Garden of Eden—Satan’s voice—was followed instead of the Creator’s, our great-grandparents Adam and Eve lost immortality and were booted out of Paradise.  Satan opened up the dialogue of destruction by adding one word and a punctuation mark.  We also found God’s adamant and absolute prohibition on adding to or subtracting from Holy Writ.  Those parties seeking a Godly marriage or those seeking the blessings of God in any matter must have an absolute and individual commitment to “it is written.”  God’s Word is the cohesive understanding and direction and is the arbiter of every difficult situation.  When we entirely align ourselves with the First Voice, then, as it says in Deuteronomy 11:21, our days will be “as the days of heaven upon the earth.”  This is the return to Paradise. 

In feature two, as well as in the first feature, we outlined the ominous odds against forging a happy marriage when one follows accepted social customs.  The odds of putting a good marriage together are slim indeed.  But God offers a better way.  The primary focus of Part Two was God’s concept of equal yoking.  A description of how yoking works was given and a short list of attitudes and habits both believers should have in common were given.  There are no successful substitutes to the simple principles laid down in the first two features in this series. 

In the beginning, the Bible defines the laws of social order in the male-female marriage relationship.  In etymology, which is the study of words, they employ what is known as the principle or law of first occurrence when assigning a word its proper definition.  Simply stated, the context in which the word is first used defines it, and so it is in the principles of social order.  Genesis 2:20:

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

Eve was made by God as a help meet for her husband.  A marriage union, and the added family that often follows, is a legal corporation that functions in this life.  God’s social order states that the head of the corporation is the husband.  The rest of the members of this corporation, the wife in particular, work to make the corporate goals attainable.  This headship principle is seen in I Corinthians 11:3:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

God’s original design was such to facilitate proper family order.  Not only does a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife (Genesis 2:24), but his wife’s desire is unto her husband (Genesis 3:16).  In a recent GodSaidManSaid feature titled “Science Flummoxed by What was Found in Female Brains,” the scientific community was perplexed when they found male DNA in the female brain, something that just shouldn’t be.  We suggested that they consider Adam’s rib. 

The woman in the marriage union is instructed by the Word of God in Ephesians 5:22-24:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Notice the completeness of the wife’s submission to her husband—“in everything.”  There is no wiggle room.  In all matters concerning this life, she must be in subjection to her own husband, but keep in mind, only according to the Word of God.  If the husband requires something contrary to the Word of God, the believing wife would decline.  Note Titus 2:3-5:

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

That which required here is 100%. 

The man in the marriage union is instructed by the Word of God in Ephesians 5:25-33:

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Notice the completeness—“love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”  The man must strive to always lead the marriage relationship in love.  That which is required here is 100%.  When both parties strive to hold up their end of the marriage contract, a very good outcome will be the result. 

It’s often said by the wife in a troubled marriage union, “I’ll totally love and submit to my husband when he loves me as Christ loves the church.”  And, of course, the man would make a similar challenge, but the truth of the matter is each party is required to obey the Word of God in this issue, regardless of what the other party does. 

To the man and the woman, I Peter 3:1-9 reads:

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Love one another and be careful to speak well of your spouse.  When you rise up early in the morning and get before God in prayer, thank God for your wife or husband, and speak your love over your spouse in the presence of God.  Keep in mind that everything is made out of words.  Proverbs 18:21 reads:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

The headline on Examiner.com reads, “The average couple has 312 arguments a year.”  Excerpts from that feature follow:

The average couple has 312 arguments a year, most of which are over what many may consider ridiculously mundane reasons.  However innocuous we may feel these arguments may be, or the reasoning behind it, research shows that 1 out of 5 of these couples are willing to end the relationship over it. 

The study, aptly conducted by Betterbathrooms.com, found that for the 3,000 adults surveyed, it’s the little things that happen in the bathroom, like hair in the shower drain, that cause the biggest fights. 

According to the study, these are the top ten reasons couples fight:

1.       Stubble in the sink;

2.       Dirty marks in the toilet;

3.       Flicking TV channels;

4.       Not replacing the toilet roll;

5.       Leaving the seat up;

6.       Leaving lights on;

7.       Leaving dirty cups around the house;

8.       Leaving wet towels on the floor/bed;

9.      Hoarding stuff; and

10.   Not flushing the toilet.      [End of quote]

Surely, applying principles from the Word of God will resolve these issues, and all others that will arise.  God’s Word is the foundation of life, and life more abundantly.  Build your home upon the solid Rock. 

GOD SAID, Genesis 2:19-25:

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

GOD SAID, Ephesians 5:22-24:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

GOD SAID, Ephesians 5:25-33:

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

MAN SAID:  Marriage is a construct of the Bible, a book that was written by mere men, and it’s time an enlightened society sheds its shackles.

Now you have THE RECORD.

References:

Authorized King James Version

Examiner.com, “The average couple has 312 arguments a year”

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